Week 36

Gettin Scary!

I am now having weekly vaginal exams, and I think my OB is quite rough. Especially because she was out of town this week and I saw the other dr in her practice, who is a man, and he was very gently and didn't thrust 2 twisting fingers into my vagina like my regular ob does. So, next week I am going to ask her to go a little slower and be more gentle. I was even crying in the doctor's room this morning, anticipating the exam. Adam was so gret calming me down as he always does, and I think it helped telling the doctor that I was afraid and he told me he understood. That was nice. It made me feel better.

We worked our last bout this past weekend. I had planned to set Denise up at the booth for training and let her man the cash register. Uh, No! SHe didn't come anywhere near us until near the 2nd half, and gave us less than a minute of completely divided attention. I can't believe she is the head of finance. She has no financial background that I can see, and has no clue as to what she is doing. She had the register for 3 weeks without reading the one sheet of instructions I wrote up for them, and had no clue how to use the PRE-PROGRAMMED KEYS that we created for them. She apparently fucked it all up the bout before, and couldn't balance, and even short paid the sporting center!

Then this time, she gave Adam a wad of money and told him to make sure that it was 1500, when in fact, she gave him 1800!!!! First, she told him what the amount should have been (WRONG!!!!) and secondly gave him too much, of which someone other than Adam could have pocketed, and they would have never known the difference.

THEN, come to find out that as she is completeing the rediculous spreadsheet she created to compile ticket sales and such, she has no idea what she is doing. AND SHE CREATED THE STUPID WORKSHEET!! She had items listed in ways which indicates totals are being doubled, and it is just generally out of control.

I just hope they pay me for what I have done for them.

They should be much more organinzed in their third year!

Anyways, we are glad to be done sitting and wasting 5-6 hours playing brickbreaker on our blackberries, and occasionally taking money.

I can't believe also, that because Denise was in a hurry to leave, that she 'allowed' us to count money when there was still 1/4 of the bout left. But, if we needed to leave early, oh no!

Whatev!

Also, in my maniacal hormonal emotional range of emotions, I have to discuss Kelley. She is so jealous of my friendship with Ang, and can be so volatile about it, and yet she won't return or acknowledge my texts. She thinks that somehow she will be in the labor room with me. But she won't return my texts. The last time I saw her was for birthday dinner in late June. I can't tell if she is just jealous because I am having a baby and she can't, or what. I know she would pull the 'it's summer and I'm BUSY' card, but that is the greatness of texting. It's at your convenience. And maybe she is pushing herself away because she knows that Ang will be in the labor room with me.

At this point, actually quite some time ago, I decided the ONLY person I want in the labor room with me and Adam is Ang. Not Kelley, not Heather, not my mom, or Frances, or anyone. I will need to stay calm, and collected, and frankly those other people don't take me to that special calm place I need to be in the time of labor. Now for delivery, NOONE is allowed except Adam. Ang can be there in labor to help Adam out to take breaks and whatever, but in delivery, and hoping it will move fast, will just be my husband. It is our special moment to bring in our first son into our lives.

After deciding that Kelley is officially 'uninvited' to the labor room, I have not told her this yet. This would require more than just one sided communication, as it has not really been of late. And for this, I do not feel bad. She will get the after birth call like everyone else, and frankly this is best for several reasons. If she is having mental anguish due to her own inability to conceive, than she should not be there. I don't need myself or Adam trying to calm her down if she breaks down, or cannot fulfill her 'best friend' duty of being there for me when I need her. And I am sure that Mickey will not want/nor be able to come to the hospital and be there for her, after she is being there for us, since he has to work.

I hve been experiencing contrations, several a day lately, and this has been exciting. I had 3 at the grocery store last Friday, which seems to be the true beginning of these larger, but mild, contractions. It is my body getting ready. Frances and Adam seem to think the baby will come early. I have no idea. I really can't make any prediction. I am not sure I want him early, except for size reasons....

I have been so tired the last few days, which seems in conjuction with the mild contractions.... I slept all night Sunday, and most of the day Monday, and last night, although waking up some to pee, and having a 10 minute lull or so before falling back to sleep, then sleeping today from 11:30 to 2 or so. This may be how the last few weeks are.

Although, the sinus headaches I could really do without. I seem to be getting them daily and that sucks. I am trying not to take to much benadryl either. I have also been having panic attacks some this last week or so. And that has been sucky too. I guess it is a culmination of the pregnancy coming to an end, preparing to breast feed, and be sleepy and agitated some. And of course to becoming a mother. This is all very strange stuff, and there seems to be alot of it rolling around in mah brain.